Nanaville by Anna Quindlen 4

 "It's a complicated relationship, being a good grandparent, because it hinges on a series of other relationship. It's an odd combination of being very experienced and totally green: I know how to raise a child, but I need to learn how to help my child raise his own. Where I once commanded, now I need to ask permission. Where I once led, I have to learn to follow."        -from the memoir

I enjoyed this book selected for January by our Page Turners committee. It reminded me so much of experiences with my 4 grandchildren. It was profound at times but quite funny in places, as well. My rating is 4.

The book's subtitle is "Adventures in Grandparenting." Here are some of Quindlen's points about that adventure:

A chance to love without "the thorny crown of self-interest."

"Most grandparents are tethered but not tied, connected but not compelled, except by choice."

"We have to be our best selves around our grandchildren."

"Reading connects us [with our grandchildren]. Always and forever."

"There are only two commandments of Nanaville: love the grandchildren and hold your tongue."

"Grandparents usually get the best-case-scenario kid, and even when they don't, their time together has a sell-by date. The parents return. The grandchild leaves."

Grandparents think they are supposed to spoil the grandkids but "parents aren't that wild about grandparents who indulge too much, because it sometimes makes them feel one-upped or disrespected."

All of these points rang true for me. My grandchildren are all grown, ranging in age from 31 to 19 so the book brought back memories.

It was interesting that the author as a grandmother would be called Nana---it is an anagram of her given name. 

When our group met, much of the talk was sharing of our own experiences with our grandparents and/or grandchildren. Most of us liked the book with ratings of mostly 3's and 4's.

I strongly recommend the book to grandmothers!